Smash Shaming!
by AngelZeroEXE
Summary: You know how cats get shamed? Well, now you can see what it’s like for your favorite fighters to get the same treatment! Update 3/6: Byleth is finally up! Enjoy!
1. Part 1: Smash 64 + Echos

Ok, I bet you know what cat shaming is, right? Well, I'm starting a short series called "Smash Shaming", where I throw little taglines onto the Smashers for no reason other than to be silly, like you would to a cat in the memes. This chapter, if you couldn't already tell, is gonna be pretty short, due to there being 12 fighters in SSB64, not including Dark Samus. Quick note, if anyone wants to draw theses shames, please send them to me. Also, I'm not taking any suggestions for this, but if anyone wants to send Assist Trophy Shames, I'm happy to hear them. So, without further ado, here is Smash Shaming Pt. 1!

**Mario**: I threw Bowser "Mario-64 style" into Norfair because he was talking to Peach.

**Donkey Kong**: I mistook Olimar's yellow Pikmin for a banana and ended up in the infirmary.

**Link**: I kissed Link Between Worlds Zelda in front of B.O.T.W Zelda. I don't regret it.

**Samus**: I kicked Sonic in the face because he told me a pun. I have no sense of humor.

**Dark Samus**: I dripped Phazon down the hall and caused Diddy Kong to slip and fall. You can see how that went over with Donkey Kong.

**Yoshi**: I ate all the fruit so PAC-MAN couldn't have any.

**Kirby**: I acted cutesy in front of Peach so she would feed me more than anyone else. I also ate one of Link's bombs.

**Fox**: I parked my Land Master in the parking garage when Master Hand made a rule against it.

**Pikachu**: I caused a black-out because I got mad. Again.

**Luigi**: I stole Mario's clothing so I could be him for a day. It did not end well.

**Ness**: When Zelda didn't give me a cookie, I used PK Fire and burned them all. Lucas cried because he didn't get one due to my actions.

**Captain Falcon:** I drove the Blue Falcon into Meta Knight's ship because I got bored.

**Jigglypuff**: I blasted Sing across the entire mansion via the loud-speakers.

_Melee fighters coming soon! Angel is out!_


	2. Part 2: Melee

Part 2 has arrived! This chapter will include the characters from Melee and their echos, like Chrom. So, without further ado, here is Smash Shaming: Melee.

**Peach**: I baked a cake with mushrooms in it for Mario. They turned out to be Poison Mushrooms. He won't go near me anymore.

**Daisy**: I slapped Luigi so hard he fainted.

**Bowser**: I kidnap Peach and Daisy multiple times a day.

**Ice Climbers**: We froze the auditorium's stage and turned it into an ice rink. It nearly cost Wolf his neck

**Shiek**: I tricked Robin into thinking I was a boy, so he set me up with Kamui, who kissed me. I will never get that out of my head.

**Zelda**: I sealed Ganondorf in the Sacred Realm because I wanted to.

**Dr. Mario**: King Dedede asked me for performance enhancers and I gave him an energy drink. It was filled with liquid Super Stars. It took an hour to calm him down.

**Pichu**: When people talk to me, I shock them, hurt myself, and cry to Dr. Mario.

**Falco**: I flew my Arwing into the mansion's roof when I faced off against Fox.

**Marth**: I cursed out Lucina in Japanese. She still has no idea what I said.

**Lucina**: In order to impress the Hero King, I stole Young Link's Ocarina of Time and tried to play the Song of Time. I nearly killed Roy.

**Young Link**: I entered a milk-bar with Zelda's ID and nearly got both of us arrested.

**Ganondorf**: I warlock-punched Capt. Falcon in the face because he said that I was a clone of him. I knew that he was right.

**Mewtwo**: I tried to control and clone the ROBs to make them do my bidding because even though I'm a Legendary and a Psychic-Type, I'm the world's laziest Pokémon.

**Roy**: I set Bayonetta on fire with the Binding Blade because she dragged me on another shopping trip.

**Chrom**: I tried to attack Ridley because he looked like Grima. I nearly died, and Lucina thinks I'm a terrible person.

**Mr. Game Watch**: I painted the bathroom black to impress the ladies of my dimension. Master Hand made me clean it up. I'm still working on it.

Ok, that's all the Melee Smashers. Next time, the characters from Brawl will be shamed. Well, Angel is out!


	3. Part 3: Brawl

This chapter will cover the Brawl newcomers from Meta Knight to Wolf and their Echoes. Enjoy!

**Meta Knight**: I hate being hugged. When Palutena tried, I cut her hair so short, she couldn't grow it back with magic and now must wear extensions. Master Hand made me discard my mask for two weeks as punishment.

**Pit**: Even though I'm canonically 13 years old, I never learned and still don't know how to read.

**Dark Pit**: When someone calls me Pittoo, I scream and attack them. When Azey calls me Tu-Tu, I giggle inwardly and blush. I'm a giant hypocrite.

**Zero Suit Samus**: I'm still Samus, but I like it when people think I'm hot, so I tricked Snake into buying me hundreds of coins worth of alcoholic beverages. We wound up in the middle of Gerudo Valley at 5 in the morning. To this day, I don't remember how I got there.

**Wario**: I farted all over the laundry that Daisy had spent an hour washing. On purpose. I still regret nothing.

**Snake**: I snuck into the Assist Trophy room to spy on them. Of all of them, Grey Fox caught me. If it wasn't for Tiki, I would be dead.

**Ike**: I say I fight for my friends, but I betrayed Link in a match back in Brawl five minutes after I said that for the first time.

**Squirtle**: I flooded the bathroom behind Red's back. I was only caught because Leaf was a tattle-tale.

**Ivysaur**: I helped Squirtle by tearing the sinks off the walls.

**Charizard**: I set my trainer on fire because he left me behind for Pokkén Tournament after Brawl.

**Diddy Kong**: I fired my pop-gun at Ganondorf. He chased me for an hour before I thought he was gone. Turns out he wasn't.

**Lucas**: Bayonetta made fun of my mom, so I froze her with PK Freeze. It took Charizard 2 weeks to thaw her out and 2 seconds to burn me to a crisp.

**Sonic**: I love dashing from one end of the mansion to the other, yelling "you're too slow" at the top of my lungs. After I was strangled by Bowser, I was forced to change the taunt to "Sonic speed". I still have the bad habit.

**King Dedede**: I love to "clobber dat dere Kirby" so much that I worked with Nightmare to have Ridley kill him. I'm still suffering the debt.

**Olimar**: My Pikmin love to reside in the Garden of Hope, where I'm forced to clean up their mess if they make one.

**Lucario**: I love the aura enough to where I would become one with it. That was put to the test when Mewtwo said his powers were better and I fused my aura with my form. I had no physical body for weeks.

**ROB**: I lose my Gyromites constantly, leaving Corrin to step on them and slice his feet open.

**Toon Link:** In the middle of the night, I like to go sailing. When I do this, I end up waking up half the mansion, because I don't realize that cyclone traveling isn't very quiet.

**Wolf**: I nearly killed Fox after Brawl, which is why I was cut from SSB4. I have still tried to do it multiple times.

Angel is out! I hope you enjoyed!


	4. Part 4: SSB4

All Villagers: We tried to establish and Animal Crossing-style government in the Smash Mansion. Crazy Hand liked the idea. Master Hand didn't.

Mega Man: I nearly murdered Master Hand when he fished me out Capcom's dumpster. It was entirely by accident. Also, Mii Gunner has a crush on me and I'm oblivious beyond belief, even though she tries to kiss me when Asriella isn't looking.

Wii Fit Trainers: We forced all the overweight Smashers into fitness regimes. We also mistakenly believed that Mega Man was one of those Smashers and kidnapped him. Samus didn't like that. Neither did Elec Man.

Rosalina and Luma: We gave Ness nightmares about our down-b (Luma: And I rubbed it in.)

Little Mac: When people call me short, I punch them through the walls, even though I like my height.

Greninja: I posted the Better Nerf Greninja meme all over the Smash Mansion because I got bored of ninja training. I'm also obsessed with memes in general and won't stop air-dropping them to other Smashers. Mega Man got a panging headache because he ran out of storage space for all my memes.

Mii Brawler: I like to get out of trouble by changing my appearance.

Mii Swordfighter: I like stabbing Link with my sword.

Mii Gunner: I love blasting holes in the walls and blaming Samus for it, and I have a huge crush on Mega Man. I display my affection by making myself look like his sister and giving him kisses. The real Roll doesn't like that.

Palutena: I cooked spaghetti and force-fed it to Kirby, Yoshi, and PAC-MAN. They couldn't eat for a month and I was permanently locked out of the kitchen. I also did this to my niece, which is why she is writing this.

PAC-MAN: It never occurred to me until recently that I'm not the only one that needs to eat.

Robin: I use my tomes to trick people and cheat at Mario Party. I also hate my counterpart because I'm a jerk.

Reflet: When Chrom tried to kiss me, I whacked him in the chest with one of my sword. He still has a bruise.

Shulk: I use my Speed Monado to make fun of Sonic. I also tell false fortunes to the Smashers

Bowser Jr.: My siblings and I have a "Rank of Potential Minions" list. We like to go from top to bottom seeing who would cause the most havoc. Mega Man was at the top of the list. He still is. We now owe $250,000 in repair debt. My papa isn't gonna pay for that.

Duck Hunt: I laughed at Ryu, who punched me. I was the one who got in trouble.

Ryu: Guile told me to chill. I recently learned that I have no chill.

Ken: I mistook Peach for Eliza and kissed her. I had a 3rd degree burn on my back for a week because of Mario and Bowser.

Cloud: I threw-up all over Mega Man when we fought against Young Link on Spirit Tracks. Zero strangled me after that match. So did Zelda.

Corrin: I get blamed for everything my counterpart does.

Kamui: I make a pigsty of the mansion and blame it all on my counterpart. Master Hand believes me.

Bayonetta: I like to try and kill Pit and Dark Pit, and I love to torture Palutena. I have something against Kid Icarus.


	5. Part 5: Ultimate

**All Inklings**: We like to ink the Moray Towers stage in the middle of the night as loudly as we can.

**Ridley**: No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to fit into the normal auditorium door. But I'll keep trying, and increase the mansion repair bills ten-fold!

**Simon**: I've tried to kill Bayonetta multiple times.

**Richter**: I let Mewtwo trick me into thinking that Shulk was the descendant of Shaft. I got Monado'd, hard.

**King K. Rool:** I love to try and kill Toon Link, even though he's barely even a pirate.

**Isabelle**: Mr. Mayor says that I was too pacifistic to be in Smash. I proved him wrong and got in trouble for it.

**Incineroar**: I suplexed Solid Snake to show my strength. He stuck a C4 onto me in the process.

**Piranha Plant:** I come up out of the toilets when Mario or Luigi uses the bathroom.

**Joker**: I stole the hearts of a couple smashers. Literally. We had to call in Sora to fix the problem.

**The Heroes**: We love confusing people about where we came from, our games, and our appearances. We still get mad over it.

**Banjo-Kazooie**: We teamed up with Goku and nearly got Mega Man killed.

**Terry Bogard**: Bowser stepped on my hat. I had turtle soup for lunch that day and Peach is uber-mad. Oh yeah, so is Mega Man.

**Byleth**: We were made to beat Bowsers. You can bet we take advantage of that.

Okay, that's the last of it. Assist trophy Shaming will come sooner the faster you send in ideas! You all are amazing, and I don't care if I'm being redundant, because it's true! Keep being amazing everyone! Angel is out!


	6. Part 6: Assist Trophies!

Akira: Ryu is my eternal rival and I will let him know that through all of eternity, even if it kills me, or Master Hand, whichever comes first.

Alucard: I mope all day about my daddy issues with my father Dracula. Also, I'm such an egotistical jerk that I won't let anyone summon me on Wii Fit Studio. (Fun fact, that's actually true. You can't some in this assist trophy on this stage, weird right?)

Andross: I like to have wars with Dr. Kawashima and when he wins, I blow up a wall. Star Fox saved the day… Again…

Arcade Bunny: I pick up people randomly with my claw for laughs, so I tried to do it to Bomberman, and you can see how that went…

Ashley: When I get mad, I love to curse people. Like that one time I turned Phosphora into a doll because she was flirting with Zero. No one flirts with Zero on my watch! (Note: I don't have a crush on Zero, I just enjoy his company).

Black Knight: When no one is looking, I like to go and try to kill Ike. Usually in the middle of the night. It never works.

Bomberman: I blew up the item store room on accident.

Burrowing Snagret: Olimar blames me for messes Chain Chomp makes. I mean, at least Pit's little cousin cares, but still.

Chain Chomp: I make a big mess and blame it all on Burrowing Snagret because I'm a big jerk and can't take the blame.

Chef Kawasaki: I helped Tiki put all the assist trophies on healthy diets, and, I'm not gonna spoil the story, but it didn't end well.

Color TV-Game 15: Okay, my left side is Paddle, and my right side is Smack. I (the ball) love to bounce around to the chagrin of Paddle and Smack, hitting everything in the vicinity in the process.

Devil: I drive everyone crazy when I mess with their field of vision by switching the stage around. I'm also a really bad assist trophy. Just saying…

Dillon: I rolled over the garden that Palutena spent hours working on, squished all the flowers, and forgot to say sorry.

Dr. Kawashima: I force all the assist trophies into math classes. You can guess how that makes Starfy feel.

Dr. Wright: I make buildings appear out of the middle of nowhere. It scares the ever-living crap out of the ghosts.

Flies Hand: We like to smack people for fun. Namely Marth, because it messes up his hair.

Ghirahim: I didn't get into the assist trophy-exclusive "Awesome Swords Club", so I attacked Lyn. I'm also not allowed anywhere near the children because, well, if you've played the game I come from, you probably know why…

Ghosts: We chase our protagonist and Luigi down the halls at night. Also, Clyde likes to eat Zero's hair for some reason. Also also, the rest of us annoy the living crap out of everyone else. Also also also, we have no regrets!

Gray Fox: I use my robotic voice to scare people. Also, my katana is not to be touched out of matches anymore for reasons I wouldn't like Azey to write about.

Guile: I spam all of my moves and shout every time I do it.

Hammer Bro: I have something against Mario. Like, seriously, I don't go a day without trying to kill him. Oh, that also includes Luigi…

Isaac: I use my psynergy hands to get stuff I can just reach on my own, like the TV remote. This is why people call me lazy, even though I get mad at them for it.

Jeff: I like to launch my bottle rockets in the middle of the night. Ness hears it. And he doesn't like it… At all!

Kapp'n: When I drive people off the side of the stage, sometimes I forget that I'm only supposed to drive them so far, and I end up driving them through the Smash Mansion. I am the reason we can't have nice things.

Klaptrap: I chew, and chew, and chew, and chew, and chew, and chew. I think I have a problem, but I have no regrets.

Knuckles: Shadow and I have a real rivalry, so it's a surprise to literally no one that we fight, every day, and every chance we get. Ugh…

Knuckle Joe: People call my voice annoying, and even though I know it is, I punch them in the face every chance I get.

Krystal: I froze Fox after he called me a "trophy wife" when I was first announced as an assist trophy. I recently learned that he was giving me a compliment.

Lyn: When I said "taste my blade" in battle, I didn't think Chef Kawasaki would take that so literally. He tried to cook my sword. You can see how that went down with me. I also have a grudge against Black Knight, for some reason…

Metroid: I like to help Klaptrap chew up all the furniture.

Midna: I play tricks on people, and let out my spooky little laugh whenever I do so. People find it really annoying.

Moon: I scare the (insert bad word here) out of Young Link whenever I spawn, then I laugh.

Mother Brain: I love to try taking the little blue robo-child away from Samus. In response, she gets everyone on the roster involved. Just let me have the little blue boy, you missle-shooting (insert bad word here).

Nightmare: Because Lucas is terrified of the dark, I go in his room at night sometimes and scared him half to death. The last time I tried to do this, I didn't realize he was ready for it and he froze me. Even Kirby was fine with that.

Nikki: Sometimes I get carried away with my drawings, and they end up causing a lot more harm than help. I still don't understand that for some reason.

Nintendog: I climb onto people's laps at the worst possible moments. Like when they're trying to get work done, or when they're really angry, which you think would help. I was chucked across the room once; it was not pleasant.

Phosphora: I shock the Squid Sisters every time they get near Zero. I don't realize that just because I like him doesn't mean that no one else has the chance to.

Rathalos: [ROAR] When I don't get fed, I go on rampages.

Riki: I curse Smashers in the middle of the night when they don't pay attention to me.

Rodin: I ended up getting half the mansion sick because of Skull Kid's stupid prank. Joker was one of them and I had to take care of him.

Sablé Prince: I transform into a frog and a snake to scare the Fire Emblem characters. Oh, and Bayonetta.

Samurai Goroh: When Capt. Falcon comes to say hi, I hurt him; every time; I have some serious issues.

Shadow: Zero's very strong, which is why I wonder if he would be even stronger with Chaos Emeralds. I was very right. He tore up half of the assist trophy quarters in a Maverick-like rage.

Sheriff: I shoot random people at any given moment.

Shovel Knight (shout-out to GirlOnDarkerSide): Yes, I can talk, I understand you, all of you can be quiet. Especially you, Waluigi. Mute little midget, my shovel.

(Also, FOR SHOVELRY!!!)

Skull Kid: Skull Kid's my name, pranking's my game. I get in trouble for this a lot.

Spring Man: I knocked over the refrigerator when I tried to grab a Pepsi.

Squid Sisters: We scream Calamari Inkantation at the top of our lungs in the middle of the night. We also ink Phosphora if she gets within 5 feet of Zero.

Starfy: I'm a pure little boy, but I shine a bit too brightly and hurt people's eyes.

Starman: Zapping innocent people at random is hilarious in my opinion, but not in Jeff's, which is why he jumps me every time I do so.

Sukapon: As the award winner for "World's Most Obnoxious Assist Trophy", I am quite infamous for being an absolute pain in the butt.

Takamaru: I have a knack for throwing my knives at just the right moment that they hit opponents in very undesirable places, such as Grey Fox's core, and Mother Brain in general.

Tiki: I turn into a dragon whenever I get mad. And I have a bit of a temper issue.

Thwomp: I crush anyone and everyone when they get under me.

Vince: When I paint a picture and it sticks to a fighter, I get scared and knock my stuff over.

Waluigi (thanks to Justin Times): Because I didn't get into Smash Ultimate, I wrecked the Hand's room and tortured every Smasher that didn't believe in me. Wario comforted me, and I still did it to him.

Wily Capsule: When Mega Man enters the assist trophy quarters, I love to bomb-rush him and try to kill him, and I'm stopped by my own creation. Talk about embarrassing; Zero even likes Mega Man, much to my dismay.

Yuri Kozukata: I'm very shy and quiet, and I get startled easily, which is why I'm not allowed on the Luigi's Mansion stage. The last time I was summoned there, I was spooked by some Boos and took a photo of the Smasher who summoned me, who just so happened to be Olimar.

Zero: I mistook Ganondorf for Sigma and tried to murder him. The Links egged me on. I don't regret what I did though. Also, Little X is like my child and I won't let anyone hurt him, which is why I'm constantly quarreling with Mother Brain and Dark Samus; also, Mii Gunner.

Thank you for reading this! It took so long to write, but I finally did it! Until next time, Angel is out!


End file.
